I don't think it's just coincidence that my favorite band for quite some time has been Third Eye Blind and they have a song entitled "Narcolepsy."
I'm glad I have a reason for not driving though.
And,as always, it's a good thing that I can laugh at my own circumstances. 'Cause it's pretty damn funny.

My fondness...scratch that. My love for the Bershires grows daily, as it always has except that in the summer I swear it grows at an exponential rate. Summer seems to have officially hit after the Fourth of July festivities last night, and it's everything I expected and more. Despite having to get up to go to work at 6 or 7am almost every morning, my job absolutely rocks. I get paid to go to shows (yesterday was "Radio and Juliet," at Jacob's Pillow...it's a Romeo and Juliet ballet set to Radiohead songs. Pretty sweet). I find myself treating the Leadership Academy as Camp Wayne...observing teachers instead of children but creating stories for them regardless. My apartment rocks...Annie will be living with me for another month due to unforeseen circumstances with her supposed new place, but the company is nice and Zappa is super duper cute. I don't even mind taking care of Banks' bunny! He's cute and I've been teaching him tricks. The month of August I will be alone in the apartment though, which I'm excited for despite how sparsley furnished it will be (I'm going with tacky patio chic...lawn chairs and plastic pink flamingos).
Last night really cemented my love for North Adams. So many awesome people came up to visit and seeing them was mega rad. Plus, having friends living downtown, up the hill, on Church St. and down at the boardmans is nice because I can wander a lot.
My summer's the past couple years contained unhealthy relationships which is continuing this summer...though this one's not so unhealthy. He's pretty okay.
Plus, 21 in less than two months

I am a narcisist of extraordinary proportions and have found that reminiscing on the absolute most heart-wrenching moments of my past relationships to be much better inspiration than the semi-okay to the amazingly romantic ones.

I don't think I'm alone, or even remotely so in this sense.

But don't take the last deviation as being about anything recent, or even anything that makes me sad aside from those odd and rare 4:30a.m. memory sessions.

Rather, normally at 4:30a.m. I am laying awake in bed attempting to sleep, or watching some ridiculous movie that includes David Bowie or Kevin Bacon.

And most other times, I'm occupied.

In other words, this is a warning that the poem sounds self-depricating beyond belief, or at the very least, like I hate the ex(es) it is based on to this day. Neither were or are what I was or am thinking. Instead, I attempted to put myself where I was just over a year ago (and just over two years ago, for that matter, and just over 5.5 months ago).

So there it is.

New Mexico was kind of amazing.


Sometimes I wish that I was an angel
A fallen angel who visits your dreams
And in those dreams I'd blow you a message that says
You really want me

Sometimes I wish that I was a wrestler
A Mexican wrestler in a red vinyl mask
And I might grab you, body slam you, and maybe cause
physical harm
But when we would land
I might take pity on you
I can crack all your ribs
But I can't break your heart

You will never love me
And this I can't forgive
That you will never love me
As long as I will live

Sometimes I wish that I was a beauty
A beautiful girl who was still 21
And I'd turn your head as well as your buddies
And I could afford to play hard to get
We'd go to parties and you'd show me off
And I'd go home with someone else

You will never love me
And this I can't forgive
And it will always bug me
As long as I will live
You will never love me
Why should I even care
It's not that you're so special
You're just the cross I bear
You will never love me